Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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