I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
