and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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