I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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