I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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