I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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