lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize