chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
