Quick, to the slutcave!
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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