Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
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