Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
