We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Randomize
