I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
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