Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Randomize
