Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
