We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
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