just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
