I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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