i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
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