It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
