therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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