awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
