I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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