AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
