I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
