Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
