Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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