Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
