I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
