i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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