im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
