she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
they're like a gay fantastic four
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Randomize
