Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
