Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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