Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
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