I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
