I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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