Cold hands, warm shart.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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