of course. lets lasso hookers.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
