i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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