A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
