Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
