so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
