He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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