I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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