Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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