dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize