Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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