R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
