No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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