his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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