If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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