You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Randomize
