you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
