Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
