I didn't shave. On purpose
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
