Kiss
Puke
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
