you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
