Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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