Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
