someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize