What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
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