jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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