I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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